I love Sissy Spacechick & Stockard Channing!

 
Frailty Bug-eyed surprise!

There was a bit of dozing at the beginning of this flick. It starts slowly with Matthew McConaughy telling FBI investigator Powers Booth that he knows who the “Hand of God” serial killer is.

Twenty years of murder and mayhem unfolds in flashback form. Two little boys witness and assist their father on a killing spree commanded by an angel who came to their father in a dream. Is the story true? Is the story false? Is the storyteller insane?

There are many questions with surprising answers. We all left the theater wide-eyed, open-mouthed and speechless.

posted by onewhoknows at 7:07 AM

 
Panic Room: Riveted to every moment.

After stuffing ourselves at an Easter Brunch at Birra Poretti’s, we were certain that neither of us would be able to stay awake for the movie. We were wrong!

This is a suspense thriller where the hunter and prey keep changing roles by out “McGeyvering” each other. It’s fascinating. It’s exciting. It drew us in. It is not so much of a nail biter as it is fun to watch. Yeah, there are flaws. Sometimes I think they let them in so the duller audience members can yell at the movie screen.

We had fun. We stayed awake.

Lord knows there are funnier lines in this flick than that clunker Death to Smoochy.


posted by onewhoknows at 6:40 PM

 
Death to Smoochy:A snore and a giggle.

Aside from some giggles at bathroom humor this flick is shtick and a waste of all the talent involved. How sad.

Catherine Keener is playing the same lady she played in Being John Malkovich, but this time she is nicer.

We love Edward Norton. He is a superb actor and the main reason we put this on our must see list but he couldn’t save this shallow mish-mash of one-dimensional characters. He is such a Pollyanna good guy in this that he makes tele-tubbies seem dark and brooding.

Miss Dixie must quickly rent

Fight Club: A psychosexual carnival feast with an introduction to soap making.
Everyone Says I Love You: He sings. He dances. He’s a triple threat. Such versatility
The People vs. Larry Flint: Can you believe he lost the Oscar to “Show me the Money”?
Primal Fear: Can you believe he lost the Oscar to “Show me the Money”?
American History X: another compelling performance.

posted by onewhoknows at 5:56 AM

 
Monsoon Wedding: Dozed during first half hour then came alive with a passion.

This is an Indian version of Father of the Bride. Throw in a bit of The Wedding Banquet too. The father frets in true Spencer Tracy fashion about how expensive everything is but in the end wants only the best for his only daughter and spends way more than he ever intended.

This is an arranged marriage. The daughter has not yet met her husband to be. She lives in Delhi. He lives in Houston. She also has a married boyfriend. How will it all work out? Everybody from both sides of the family converge on the bride’s home for three days of Ceremonies and celebrations. We meet the family during the festivities including the abused stepdaughter, the budding gay son and the pedophile uncle.

The pedophile is what caught Miss D’s attention and brought her out of slumber. We see early on that the favorite uncle has a dirty little secret. We also recognize his grown victim. We also see family members unwilling to recognize what is going on right under their noses. Is it a cultural thing or human nature not to want to believe that such things can happen in your own family?

It’s an interesting mix and a joyous celebration. Miss D. jabbered about this one all the way home.

posted by onewhoknows at 5:16 AM

 
The Time Machine: a short snooze

Awright, so I’m a sucker for Science Fiction. Once again Hollywood has taken a perfectly good story and overdid the special effects and puppets. This version has incredibly powerful and swift Moorlocks who can survive above ground in sunlight. They quickly surround a group of Eloi and pelt them with darts from blowguns. The darts have no apparent effect on the Eloi except they are messy. The Eloi are tossed about by the Moorlochs like rag dolls, but when the Moorlocks go mano a mano with our Hero, a little kook to the head leaves them dazed. Talk about a glass jaw.

I won’t even go into the complete library at the disposal of these new Eloi. Although in 800 million years, nothing appears to have been written since the 19th – 20th centuries. There is a certain irony in a hologram of a black man teaching Tom Sawyer. The Eloi suddenly understand English and are enrapt in the story. Give me a break and the 1960 version.

…and Miss Dixie snoozed until the audio effects woke her.

posted by onewhoknows at 4:38 AM

 
The Sound of Music, Sing-along Version:

Just kidding. Slapping self on knee and laughing out loud.

I'm going to get drunk one day and go to this geriatric version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show dressed as Sister Bertrille.

posted by onewhoknows at 9:31 AM

 
Italian for Beginners:Snored out loud in the beginning then asked who all those people were.

This one didn’t start with a big enough BANG to get Miss D’s attention the minute she sat down, so she quietly drifted off shortly after the flick started. I think it was the adrenaline rush from the BANG earlier this morning had finally worn off and left her exhausted. Imagine sitting in a little Miata and seeing the back end of a Lexus heading straight for your door. BANG! Missed the door. Pranged the fender. Nobody hurt. But that is how the weekend started.

Back in the theater the lights dim and we are presented a Danish film with English subtitles. These are perfect for Miss Dixie who has a hearing loss. She never has to poke me and ask, “What did he say.” She hates it when people on the screen whisper. Both hands instantly go up in the air; my cue to repeat whatever was just uttered on the screen. No fear of that happening here. Subtitles are my friend.

Through very matter-of-fact conversations we learn the old Pastor is on suspension for throwing the Organist over the balcony because he didn’t like the way he played a particular hymn. We also learn the deaconess led quite a life in crime before embracing the church. These are the secondary characters. The primary focus is on a group of people who are taking a night class, Italian for Beginners.

This is by no means a slapstick comedy that will have you doubled over with laughter. These are ordinary people making their way through everyday life dealing with problems we all face. They just want to avoid loneliness and perhaps find a little love along the way. That makes it charming.

I discovered that I liked these people too. Especially later when Miss Dixie asked who they all were and I had to explain.


posted by onewhoknows at 3:01 AM

 
No Man's Land:No Sleeping. No Talking Out Loud until the end.

This is one of the bleakest blackest comedies I have seen in a great while. A Bosnian and a Serb are caught in a trench between the opposing sides. It is no-man's land. Face to face they are the same arguing over who started the war and who is right. The survivor will write this history.

There is a third soldier in the trench. He was thought dead and a "bouncing land mine" was placed beneath him so that when his compadres attempt to reclaim his body, the mine will explode killing everyone within a 50-foot radius with deadly shrapnel.

The UN gets involved, but this is essentially a No Win situation, a Catch-22, a Lady or the Tiger decision and the World Press is watching the events unfold.

I am still creeped-out by the ending. In fact, I think it responsible for a most disturbing dream last night.

posted by onewhoknows at 9:07 AM

 
Monster's Ball:talked right out loud. This one is a button pusher.

Monster's Ball touched off two of Miss Dixies favorite Soap Box topics: The Death Sentence and Racism. When we left the theater, she was telling anyone who would listen that this film is a powerful as To Kill a Mockingbird. I am sure that is an overstatement, but this film is full of surprises.

Even though the pacing seems slow, there was no nodding off or heaven forbid sleeping as this story unfolded. The editorial comments began with the "Dead Man Walking" toward his death. The theater was less than half full so I suspect nobody but me heard the muttering. Peter Boyle's character elicited several sharp remarks for his blatant racisn, but the US sanction of the Death Penalty was the button that stayed pressed all through the ride home. Seems that the only countries hell bent on imposing this immoral sentence are countries Americans consider immoral (read Middle Eastern Countries and China). What a mix. She was on a tear for the whole three-mile drive back home. I dopped her off and headed to the Super K-Mart.
posted by onewhoknows at 12:17 PM

 
Iris: Stayed awake but couldn’t remember the plot

(I know that's a cruel joke. I just woke up cranky.)

It’s always risky for me to take the Irascible One to the theaters at Greenway Plaza. There will be something wrong with whichever route I select. Navigating street traffic on Kirby or braving the dreaded West Loop through the Galleria Area will bring out the “Hyacinth Bucket” in my little Precious who will direct me from lane to lane and point out every pot-hole, puddle and bump along the way. Greenway is also one of those nasty old boxy theaters with no character and little seats with minimal padding. Ick. The auditorium is staired a bit in the back but not like stadium seating. These shallow stairs are just enough to trip the unwary.

For this adventure I chose the West Loop and miraculously we made it through the Galleria with minimal problems. We were in our Miata behind a Chevy 4x4 during the thick of it so we couldn’t see the jockeying for lanes as people trying to get off at Richmond were deckling in with the people trying to enter the freeway from Westheimer. Worst bottle neck in the city.

Not every pitfall is anticipated and we encountered one that set Miss Dixie off like a bull at the rodeo. We were busy gabbing, missed our exit and had to go an extra mile or so to circle back. However, as we approached Greenway we got behind a driver who really didn’t know where he was going. The irony of the situation was lost on the Irascible One and she began her tirade as the driver ahead slowed to a snails pace at each entrance to the underground parking looking for the proper one. What’s the matter with Uncle Fudd up there, has he got his finger up his ass? (Such language from a PhD.)

The poor lost soul chose the same entrance as we. However, when confronted with a choice of turning left or right in the underground maze, he stopped completely to get his bearings and looked for any kind of signage that might direct him to his destination. Jeezus Gawd, we're going to be late because this guy is piddle-fucking around. HONK HIM!!!!

Naturally the poorlostsoul turned left toward the theaters and proceeded at an overly cautious pace past the various gated parking lots slowing, slowing, slowing, STOP right in front of the theater’s lot. Well, what the….! GO AROUND HIM! The man decided he was in the correct place but had slightly overshot the entrance so his left turn into the lot was a little tricky. I gently suggested to Precious that she go buy the tickets and I would park the car. She jumped out of the car like the aforementioned Bull and sprinted off toward the Box Office. Good thing too. The lot wasn’t full but the first three rows were and poorlostsoul was creeping along like a parked vehicle would vaporize and an open space would suddenly become available. Even I was relieved when he finally found an open space.

When I got to the box office, Miss D. was still in line complaining about somebody trying to purchase a ticket with a $500.00 bill. I was afraid to ask. We proceeded down the hallway to our quiet little theater and a splendid film, Iris.

If you are familiar with Iris Murdoch’s books, this film will no doubt have more impact on you. If you know someone with Alzheimer’s, this film will also strike a chillingly familiar note. The four actors playing the younger and older couple are most compelling with Judi Dench outstanding as she delivers a simple and honest portrayal of a woman whose brilliant mind is sailing into darkness.

posted by onewhoknows at 7:03 AM

 
Storytelling: What the Hell was that?

Occasionally a flick comes along that is totally mesmerizing for no apparent reason.

The first Todd Solondz film we saw was Welcome to the Doll House. Miss Dixie was outraged by the antics of Junior High School kids and thought the whole thing was too far fetched. Of course Dixie Louise grew up in Wellington Kansas where people still don’t lock their doors at night. The kids at my Jr. High acted very much like those in the movie. In fact, I thought the Doll House kids were kinda tame.

Anyway, here we are seated in the Theater waiting for the Previews to begin. The background music is some Diva who sings that “looking for the right note” style of singing. It’s jazz gone bad and always makes me think of Lucy Ricardo auditioning when Ricky won’t let her be in the Big Show. Ti? Ti#? Re? Do#? Doooooo. Miss Dixie went into her “What happened to Elizabeth Schwartzkopf?” rant:

Hey, do you want Elizabeth to find that note for ya? She can hit that note first time everytime. Stupid bitch has been up and down the goddam scale twice and can’t find fa. It’s fa asshole FA! Listen to the pianee player, he’s got your melody line and he’s playing FA.

So much for the pre-show warm up.

Storytelling is divided into two parts: Fiction and Non-fiction. Apparently the first part of the film has been heavily CENSORED or EDITED. About an hour of the original film was cut from the version we saw and there was a RED BOXcovering a rape scene between a student and her Writing Professor. It came off kind of bizarre.

The second half was intact for all I know. The characters were more fleshed out but just as loopy. Miss D. developed a special affinity for Consuelo, the overworked maid. Her scenes with the youngest member of the household, a bad seed if there ever was one, are remarkable.

We found the ending quite a surprise and most satisfying.

posted by onewhoknows at 5:46 PM

 
Lantana:Most Interesting. Drifted off during the first 10 minutes, but was wide awake thereafter.

Lantana is one of those tangled dramas where several peoples lives intersect in the most unexpected ways. The pace was a bit slow for Miss D. in the beginning and she started to nod off. I only had to poke her once and the character development kept her attention. Several principals confide their infidelities, indiscretions, secrets and lies to their psychologist, Barbara Hershey. When Miss Hershey disappears the seeming separate lives of her clients begin a collision course during the police investigation.

It is a most intriguing tale of people just trying to get along as best they can avoiding the pitfalls they can see but making mistakes along the way. The consequenses of their errors have far reaching effects and sometimes a simple act of kindness can be deadly if the motive is misunderstood.

Miss D. talked about this one the rest of the afternoon.
posted by onewhoknows at 12:51 PM

 
Piñero:Took a five dollar nap but was wakened several times by the sound track.

He was a junkie, a thief, a poet and a playwright. I am not familiar with his poetry or his plays. I work with people who are often found dead huddled behind dumpsters or curled up in some closet where they suffocated on their own vomit. It’s such a waste.

A more interesting film biography to me about a tortured artist is CRUMB. It is also more disturbing. Go rent it instead.

posted by onewhoknows at 4:36 PM

 
Charlotte Gray: Excellent! No sleeping, No talking right out loud.

This one really enrapt Miss D. She's quite a Romantic at heart, you know. There is something for everyone as young Charlotte parachutes into occupied France during WWII to join the Resistance as a British Agent and find her lover who was shot down.

It becomes a “who do you trust” game of cat and mouse when Charlotte gets caught between Communists, Vichy Government Officials, Nazis, a couple of Jewish orphans and Orders from her own contacts. She begins to doubt the real reason she was sent there. That is the BIG question of this story: Why the hell is she there?

Suspend that little detail and you have a fine flick. Cate Blanchett does a wonderful job as usual. If I were in a bitchy mood, I’d say this is Nancy Drew meets the Nazis, but I enjoyed it too.

posted by onewhoknows at 5:04 AM

 
Black Hawk Down: If she was talking to the screen, no one could hear her.

This is one long and LOUD blood and guts battle scene, folks. Take ear plugs.
(Although it is not as loud as the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge or a Ramones Concert.)
posted by onewhoknows at 3:41 AM

 
The Royal Tenenbaums: No Review


Miss Dixie walked out on this flick after 20minutes.

The trouble started when we got to the theater late. There were long lines because Beauty and the Beast opened on the IMAX screen. Then some guy decided to pay for his tickets with a credit card. Bad Mistake. The muttering started: These stupid sonsabitches. If I ran this theater there would be a separated line for advanced ticket sales. Incompetent bastahds. Jeezus-gawd, why do they permit anybody to pay for two tickets with a credit card? I’ll tell you why. Because they’re stuuupid, that’s why. She is such a joy to be around when she gets irritated.

Because of the delay she didn’t get an aisle seat. She’s just a tad claustrophobic. Then someone asked us if we would scoot down one seat so they could have two seats together. Yikes! You would have thought they asked for a kidney. Now the deep sighs and harummphing started. There was nowhere to put her jacket. She hates to simply slip it off and leave it behind her or over her shoulders. She draped it over the seat in front of her but had to remove it when that seat filled. The jacket came off the seat with great flourish and was wadded into a ball and slam-dunked to the floor beneath her knees. I turned to her and quietly asked if she was having a Prozac moment. I got the dreaded Buzzard Face; my cue not to say another word.

I didn’t even look in her direction when a couple sidled down our row forcing her to pick up her jacket once again. By this time, the Previews were over and the Feature had started. Popcorn munching and soda slurping distracted her. She began to fidget and shift in her seat. Twenty minutes later she announced, I got cramps! and got up and left.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

A Beautiful Mind: Excellent. Talked right back at the screen.

Miss Dixie loves movies about underdogs who triumph. This one certainly fits the bill. By the time we reach the 1960’s and students mock Professor Nash’s odd walk and demeanor, Miss D spoke right up. Lousy sonsabitches! No wonder we have things like Columbine Happening. Now I gave her the “Buzzard Face” or she would have gone into her whole litany about Bullies.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Gosford Park: Talked right back to the screen, but she was sleeping.

This one is a really slow moving comedy of class distinction and manners ala upstairs/downstairs. I too found myself nodding off so I hadn’t noticed that Miss Dixie was in deep REM. Usually a snort or heavy breathing alerts me. In one of my attempts to waken more fully, I heard her talking about her hearing loss. She was totally out "watching a movie of her own". Probably the other patrons found her more amusing than the flick.

Yes, she does talk in her sleep at home too. I sometimes respond to her with implausible answers. In one dream she was having quite an animated conversation with an old friend. When she asked her friend, How many children do you have now? I replied, 73.

Seventy three, is that….. You sonofabitch.

Then she rolled over.
Back to ONEWHOKNOWS

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posted by onewhoknows at 6:05 AM